Down the Rabbit-Hole
 CHAPTER II
A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
 CHAPTER IV
The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
 CHAPTER V
Advice from a Caterpillar
 CHAPTER VI
The Queen’s Croquet-Ground
 CHAPTER IX
The Mock Turtle’s Story
 CHAPTER X
The Lobster Quadrille
 CHAPTER XI
There was nothing so _very_ remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it
so _very_ much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, “Oh
dear
In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
in the world she was to get out again
“Well!” thought Alice to herself, “after such a fall as this, I shall
think nothing of tumbling down stairs
How brave they’ll all think me
at home
Why, I wouldn’t say anything about it, even if I fell off the
top of the house!” (Which was very likely true.)

Down, down, down
Would the fall _never_ come to an end
“I wonder how
many miles I’ve fallen by this time?” she said aloud
“I must be
getting somewhere near the centre of the earth
“I wonder if I shall fall right _through_
the earth
How funny it’ll seem to come out among the people that walk
with their heads downward
Please, Ma’am, is this New Zealand or Australia?”
(and she tried to curtsey as she spoke—fancy _curtseying_ as you’re
falling through the air
Do you think you could manage it?) “And what
an ignorant little girl she’ll think me for asking
No, it’ll never do
to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.”

Down, down, down
There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began
talking again
“Dinah’ll miss me very much to-night, I should think!”
(Dinah was the cat.) “I hope they’ll remember her saucer of milk at
tea-time
I wish you were down here with me
There are
no mice in the air, I’m afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that’s
very like a mouse, you know
But do cats eat bats, I wonder?” And here
Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a
dreamy sort of way, “Do cats eat bats
down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and
the fall was over
either the locks were too large, or the key was too small,
but at any rate it would not open any of them
Oh,
how I wish I could shut up like a telescope
It was all very well to say “Drink me,” but the wise little Alice was
not going to do _that_ in a hurry
After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going
into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice
“But it’s no use now,” thought poor Alice, “to pretend to be two
people
So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake
*      *      *      *      *      *      *

    *      *      *      *      *      *

*      *      *      *      *      *      *




CHAPTER II
Good-bye, feet!”
(for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of
sight, they were getting so far off)
“Oh, my poor little feet, I
wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears
Let me see: I’ll give them a new pair of boots every
Christmas.”

And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it
“They must
go by the carrier,” she thought; “and how funny it’ll seem, sending
presents to one’s own feet
And how odd the directions will look
_Alice’s Right Foot, Esq., Hearthrug, near the Fender,_ (_with
     Alice’s love_)
“You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” said Alice, “a great girl like
you,” (she might well say this), “to go on crying in this way
After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and
she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming
Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she
kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: “Dear, dear
And yesterday things went on just as usual
I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night
Let me think: was I the
same when I got up this morning
I almost think I can remember feeling
a little different
But if I’m not the same, the next question is, Who
in the world am I
Besides, _she’s_ she, and _I’m_ I, and—oh dear, how
puzzling it all is
I’ll try if I know all the things I used to know
Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen,
and four times seven is—oh dear
I shall never get to twenty at that
rate
However, the Multiplication Table doesn’t signify: let’s try
Geography
London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of
Rome, and Rome—no, _that’s_ all wrong, I’m certain
I must have been
changed for Mabel
No, I’ve
made up my mind about it; if I’m Mabel, I’ll stay down here
It’ll be
no use their putting their heads down and saying ‘Come up again, dear!’
I shall only look up and say ‘Who am I then
“How _can_ I have done that?” she thought
And I declare it’s too bad, that it is!”

As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment,
splash
she was up to her chin in salt water
Her first idea was that
she had somehow fallen into the sea, “and in that case I can go back by
railway,” she said to herself
“I wish I hadn’t cried so much!” said Alice, as she swam about, trying
to find her way out
“I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by
being drowned in my own tears
That _will_ be a queer thing, to be
sure
“Would it be of any use, now,” thought Alice, “to speak to this mouse
The Mouse gave a
sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with
fright
“Oh, I beg your pardon!” cried Alice hastily, afraid that she
had hurt the poor animal’s feelings
“I quite forgot you didn’t like
cats.”

“Not like cats!” cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice
“Would
_you_ like cats if you were me?”

“Well, perhaps not,” said Alice in a soothing tone: “don’t be angry
about it
And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you’d
take a fancy to cats if you could only see her
“We won’t talk
about her any more if you’d rather not.”

“We indeed!” cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his
tail
“As if _I_ would talk on such a subject
Our family always
_hated_ cats: nasty, low, vulgar things
Don’t let me hear the name
again!”

“I won’t indeed!” said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of
conversation
A little bright-eyed terrier, you
know, with oh, such long curly brown hair
So she called softly after it, “Mouse dear
Alice
led the way, and the whole party swam to the shore
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
called out, “Sit down, all of you, and listen to me
_I’ll_ soon make
you dry enough!” They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the
Mouse in the middle
Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she
felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon
“Ahem!” said the Mouse with an important air, “are you all ready
This
is the driest thing I know
Silence all round, if you please
Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
Mercia and Northumbria—’”

“Ugh!” said the Lory, with a shiver
“I beg your pardon!” said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: “Did
you speak?”

“Not I!” said the Lory hastily
“I thought you did,” said the Mouse
William’s conduct at first was moderate
But the insolence
of his Normans—’ How are you getting on now, my dear?” it continued,
turning to Alice as it spoke
At last the Dodo
said, “_Everybody_ has won, and all must have prizes.”

“But who is to give the prizes?” quite a chorus of voices asked
There was exactly
one a-piece, all round
“But she must have a prize herself, you know,” said the Mouse
“Of course,” the Dodo replied very gravely
“What else have you got in
your pocket?” he went on, turning to Alice
“Only a thimble,” said Alice sadly
“Hand it over here,” said the Dodo
However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and
begged the Mouse to tell them something more
“Mine is a long and a sad tale!” said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and
sighing
“A knot!” said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking
anxiously about her
“Oh, do let me help to undo it!”

“I shall do nothing of the sort,” said the Mouse, getting up and
walking away
“You insult me by talking such nonsense!”

“I didn’t mean it!” pleaded poor Alice
“But you’re so easily offended,
you know!”

The Mouse only growled in reply
Let this be a lesson to you never to lose
_your_ temper!” “Hold your tongue, Ma!” said the young Crab, a little
snappishly
“You’re enough to try the patience of an oyster!”

“I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!” said Alice aloud,
addressing nobody in particular
“She’d soon fetch it back!”

“And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?” said the
Lory
Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet:
“Dinah’s our cat
And she’s such a capital one for catching mice you
can’t think
And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds
Why,
she’ll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!”

This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party
It’s high time you were all in
bed!” On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left
alone
“I wish I hadn’t mentioned Dinah!” she said to herself in a melancholy
tone
“Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I’m sure she’s the best
cat in the world
I wonder if I shall ever see you
any more!” And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very
lonely and low-spirited
She’ll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are
ferrets
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and
called out to her in an angry tone, “Why, Mary Ann, what _are_ you
doing out here
Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and
a fan
“He took me for his housemaid,” she said to herself as she ran
“How
surprised he’ll be when he finds out who I am
“How queer it seems,” Alice said to herself, “to be going messages for
a rabbit
I suppose Dinah’ll be sending me on messages next!” And she
began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: “‘Miss Alice
Come
here directly, and get ready for your walk!’ ‘Coming in a minute,
nurse
There was no label
this time with the words “DRINK ME,” but nevertheless she uncorked it
and put it to her lips
“I know _something_ interesting is sure to
happen,” she said to herself, “whenever I eat or drink anything; so
I’ll just see what this bottle does
“It was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, “when one wasn’t
always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
rabbits
I almost wish I hadn’t gone down that rabbit-hole—and yet—and
yet—it’s rather curious, you know, this sort of life
I do wonder what
_can_ have happened to me
When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied
that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of
one
There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought
That’ll be a comfort, one way—never to be an old woman—but
then—always to have lessons to learn
Oh, I shouldn’t like _that!_”

“Oh, you foolish Alice!” she answered herself
“How can you learn
lessons in here
“Fetch me my gloves this moment!”
Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs
Next came an angry voice—the Rabbit’s—“Pat
Where are you?” And
then a voice she had never heard before, “Sure then I’m here
Digging
for apples, yer honour!”

“Digging for apples, indeed!” said the Rabbit angrily
This time there were
_two_ little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass
“What a number
of cucumber-frames there must be!” thought Alice
fetch it here, lad!—Here, put ’em up at this corner—No, tie ’em
together first—they don’t reach half high enough yet—Oh
they’ll do
well enough; don’t be particular—Here, Bill
catch hold of this
rope—Will the roof bear?—Mind that loose slate—Oh, it’s coming down
Heads below!” (a loud crash)—“Now, who did that?—It was Bill, I
fancy—Who’s to go down the chimney?—Nay, _I_ shan’t
_You_ do
it!—_That_ I won’t, then!—Bill’s to go down—Here, Bill
the master says
you’re to go down the chimney!”

“Oh
So Bill’s got to come down the chimney, has he?” said Alice to
herself
“Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill
“I’ll put a stop to
this,” she said to herself, and shouted out, “You’d better not do that
again!” which produced another dead silence
Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into
little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her
head
The poor little Lizard, Bill,
was in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it
something out of a bottle
They all made a rush at Alice the moment she
appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself
safe in a thick wood
An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and
feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her
I’d nearly forgotten that
I’ve got to grow up again
Let me see—how _is_ it to be managed
I
suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great
question is, what?”

The great question certainly was, what
“Who are _you?_” said the Caterpillar
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation
“Explain
yourself!”

“I can’t explain _myself_, I’m afraid, sir,” said Alice, “because I’m
not myself, you see.”

“I don’t see,” said the Caterpillar
“Who are _you?_”

Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation
“Come back!” the Caterpillar called after her
“I’ve something
important to say!”

This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again
“Keep your temper,” said the Caterpillar
“Is that all?” said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she
could
Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do,
and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing
“Well, I’ve tried to say “How doth the little busy bee,” but it all
came different!” Alice replied in a very melancholy voice
“Repeat, ‘_You are old, Father William_,’” said the Caterpillar
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff
Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs!”


“That is not said right,” said the Caterpillar
The Caterpillar was the first to speak
“What size do you want to be?” it asked
Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life
before, and she felt that she was losing her temper
“Are you content now?” said the Caterpillar
“But I’m not used to it!” pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again
In a
minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and
yawned once or twice, and shook itself
“Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it
aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight
However, at
last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke
off a bit of the edge with each hand
“What _can_ all that green stuff be?” said Alice
“And where _have_ my
shoulders got to
“I’m _not_ a serpent!” said Alice indignantly
“I’ve tried the roots of trees, and I’ve tried banks, and I’ve tried
hedges,” the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; “but those
serpents
There’s no pleasing them!”

Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in
saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished
“As if it wasn’t trouble enough hatching the eggs,” said the Pigeon;
“but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day
Why, I
haven’t had a wink of sleep these three weeks!”

“I’m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,” said Alice, who was beginning to
see its meaning
Ugh, Serpent!”

“But I’m _not_ a serpent, I tell you!” said Alice
_What_ are you?” said the Pigeon
“A likely story indeed!” said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest
contempt
“I’ve seen a good many little girls in my time, but never
_one_ with such a neck as that
You’re a serpent; and there’s
no use denying it
“Come, there’s half my plan
done now
How puzzling all these changes are
I’m never sure what I’m
going to be, from one minute to another
She felt very curious to know what it was all
about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen
An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.”

Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together
Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked
“There’s no sort of use in knocking,” said the Footman, “and that for
two reasons
“But perhaps he can’t help it,”
she said to herself; “his eyes are so _very_ nearly at the top of his
head
But at any rate he might answer questions.—How am I to get in?”
she repeated, aloud
“—or next day, maybe,” the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly
as if nothing had happened
“How am I to get in?” asked Alice again, in a louder tone
“_Are_ you to get in at all?” said the Footman
“That’s the first
question, you know.”

It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so
“It’s really
dreadful,” she muttered to herself, “the way all the creatures argue
It’s enough to drive one crazy!”

The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his
remark, with variations
“I shall sit here,” he said, “on and off, for
days and days.”

“But what am _I_ to do?” said Alice
“Anything you like,” said the Footman, and began whistling
“Oh, there’s no use in talking to him,” said Alice desperately: “he’s
perfectly idiotic!” And she opened the door and went in
“There’s certainly too much pepper in that soup!” Alice said to
herself, as well as she could for sneezing
There was certainly too much of it in the air
Even the Duchess sneezed
occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling
alternately without a moment’s pause
The only things in the kitchen
that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting
on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear
“Oh, _please_ mind what you’re doing!” cried Alice, jumping up and down
in an agony of terror
“Oh, there goes his _precious_ nose!” as an
unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it
off
“Just
think of what work it would make with the day and night
(In which the cook and the baby joined):


“Wow
you may nurse it a bit, if you like!” the Duchess said to Alice,
flinging the baby at her as she spoke
“I must go and get ready to play
croquet with the Queen,” and she hurried out of the room
The cook
threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her
“But perhaps it was only
sobbing,” she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there
were any tears
“If you’re going to turn into a pig, my dear,”
said Alice, seriously, “I’ll have nothing more to do with you
Mind
now!” The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible
to say which), and they went on for some while in silence
So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it
trot away quietly into the wood
The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice
It looked good-natured, she
thought: still it had _very_ long claws and a great many teeth, so she
felt that it ought to be treated with respect
“Cheshire Puss,” she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know
whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little
wider
“Come, it’s pleased so far,” thought Alice, and she went on
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat
“I don’t much care where—” said Alice
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat
“—so long as I get _somewhere_,” Alice added as an explanation
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long
enough.”

Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another
question
Visit either you like: they’re both mad.”

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here
You’re mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice
You grant that?”

“I suppose so,” said Alice
“Well, then,” the Cat went on, “you see, a dog growls when it’s angry,
and wags its tail when it’s pleased
Now _I_ growl when I’m pleased,
and wag my tail when I’m angry
Therefore I’m mad.”

“_I_ call it purring, not growling,” said Alice
“Call it what you like,” said the Cat
Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer
things happening
While she was looking at the place where it had been,
it suddenly appeared again
“By-the-bye, what became of the baby?” said the Cat
“I’d nearly
forgotten to ask.”

“It turned into a pig,” Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back
in a natural way
“I thought it would,” said the Cat, and vanished again
“Did you say pig, or fig?” said the Cat
I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a
grin without a cat
I almost wish I’d gone to see the Hatter instead!”




CHAPTER VII
No room!” they cried out when they saw
Alice coming
“There’s _plenty_ of room!” said Alice indignantly, and
she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table
“Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea
“I don’t see any wine,” she remarked
“There isn’t any,” said the March Hare
“Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,” said Alice angrily
“It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,” said
the March Hare
“I didn’t know it was _your_ table,” said Alice; “it’s laid for a great
many more than three.”

“Your hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter
He had been looking at
Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first
speech
“I’m glad they’ve
begun asking riddles.—I believe I can guess that,” she added aloud
“Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?” said
the March Hare
“Then you should say what you mean,” the March Hare went on
“I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least—at least I mean what I
say—that’s the same thing, you know.”

“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter
The Hatter was the first to break the silence
Alice considered a little, and then said “The fourth.”

“Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter
“I told you butter wouldn’t suit
the works!” he added looking angrily at the March Hare
“It was the _best_ butter,” the March Hare meekly replied
“What a
funny watch!” she remarked
“It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t
tell what o’clock it is!”

“Why should it?” muttered the Hatter
Alice felt dreadfully puzzled, The Hatter’s remark seemed to have no
sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English
“I don’t quite
understand you,” she said, as politely as she could
“The Dormouse is asleep again,” said the Hatter, and he poured a little
hot tea upon its nose
“No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “what’s the answer?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter
It’s _him_.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” said Alice
“Of course you don’t!” the Hatter said, tossing his head
contemptuously
“I dare say you never even spoke to Time!”

“Perhaps not,” Alice cautiously replied: “but I know I have to beat
time when I learn music.”

“Ah
that accounts for it,” said the Hatter
Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything
you liked with the clock
The Hatter shook his head mournfully
How I wonder what you’re at!’


You know the song, perhaps?”

“I’ve heard something like it,” said Alice
“It goes on, you know,” the Hatter continued, “in this way:—

‘Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky
“Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the
Queen jumped up and bawled out, ‘He’s murdering the time
Off with his
head!’”

“How dreadfully savage!” exclaimed Alice
“And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, “he won’t
do a thing I ask
It’s always six o’clock now.”

A bright idea came into Alice’s head
“Is that the reason so many
tea-things are put out here?” she asked
“Exactly so,” said the Hatter: “as the things get used up.”

“But what happens when you come to the beginning again?” Alice ventured
to ask
“Suppose we change the subject,” the March Hare interrupted, yawning
I vote the young lady tells us a story.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know one,” said Alice, rather alarmed at the
proposal
“Then the Dormouse shall!” they both cried
“Wake up, Dormouse!” And
they pinched it on both sides at once
The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes
“I wasn’t asleep,” he said in a
hoarse, feeble voice: “I heard every word you fellows were saying.”

“Tell us a story!” said the March Hare
“Yes, please do!” pleaded Alice
“They lived on treacle,” said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or
two
“Who’s making personal remarks now?” the Hatter asked triumphantly
I
dare say there may be _one_.”

“One, indeed!” said the Dormouse indignantly
“And so these three little sisters—they were learning to draw,
you know—”

“What did they draw?” said Alice, quite forgetting her promise
“Treacle,” said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very
cautiously: “But I don’t understand
“At any rate I’ll never go _there_ again!” said Alice as she picked her
way through the wood
“That’s very curious!” she thought
“But
everything’s curious today
I think I may as well go in at once.” And
in she went
Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little
glass table
“Now, I’ll manage better this time,” she said to herself,
and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that
led into the garden
Always lay the
blame on others!”

“_You’d_ better not talk!” said Five
“I heard the Queen say only
yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!”

“What for?” said the one who had spoken first
“That’s none of _your_ business, Two!” said Seven
“Would you tell me,” said Alice, a little timidly, “why you are
painting those roses?”

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two
The Queen!” and the three gardeners instantly threw
themselves flat upon their faces
There was a sound of many footsteps,
and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen
“How should _I_ know?” said Alice, surprised at her own courage
Off—”

“Nonsense!” said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was
silent
“Leave off that!” screamed the Queen
“You shan’t be beheaded!” said Alice, and she put them into a large
flower-pot that stood near
The three soldiers wandered about for a
minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the
others
“Are their heads off?” shouted the Queen
“Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!” the soldiers shouted
in reply
“That’s right!” shouted the Queen
“Can you play croquet?”

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was
evidently meant for her
“Come on, then!” roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession,
wondering very much what would happen next
“It’s—it’s a very fine day!” said a timid voice at her side
She was
walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face
“Very,” said Alice: “—where’s the Duchess?”

“Hush
Hush!” said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone
“Did you say ‘What a pity!’?” the Rabbit asked
“No, I didn’t,” said Alice: “I don’t think it’s at all a pity
I said
‘What for?’”

“She boxed the Queen’s ears—” the Rabbit began
Alice gave a little
scream of laughter
“Oh, hush!” the Rabbit whispered in a frightened
tone
Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded
The Cat seemed to think that there
was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared
“Who _are_ you talking to?” said the King, going up to Alice, and
looking at the Cat’s head with great curiosity
“Don’t be impertinent,” said the King, “and don’t look at me like
that!” He got behind Alice as he spoke
“A cat may look at a king,” said Alice
I wish you would
have this cat removed!”

The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or
small
“Off with his head!” she said, without even looking round
“I’ll fetch the executioner myself,” said the King eagerly, and he
hurried off
Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going
on, as she heard the Queen’s voice in the distance, screaming with
passion
So she went in search of her hedgehog
The King’s argument was, that anything that had a head could be
beheaded, and that you weren’t to talk nonsense
The Queen’s argument was, that if something wasn’t done about it in
less than no time she’d have everybody executed, all round
“When _I’m_ a Duchess,” she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful
tone though), “I won’t have any pepper in my kitchen _at all_
“You’re thinking
about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk
I can’t
tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in
a bit.”

“Perhaps it hasn’t one,” Alice ventured to remark
“Tut, tut, child!” said the Duchess
“Everything’s got a moral, if only
you can find it.” And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice’s side as
she spoke
However, she did not like to be rude, so she
bore it as well as she could
“The game’s going on rather better now,” she said, by way of keeping up
the conversation a little
Shall I try the experiment?”

“He might bite,” Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious
to have the experiment tried
“Very true,” said the Duchess: “flamingoes and mustard both bite
And
the moral of that is—‘Birds of a feather flock together.’”

“Only mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked
“Right, as usual,” said the Duchess: “what a clear way you have of
putting things!”

“It’s a mineral, I _think_,” said Alice
“Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to
everything that Alice said; “there’s a large mustard-mine near here
“Pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,” said
Alice
“Oh, don’t talk about trouble!” said the Duchess
“I make you a present
of everything I’ve said as yet.”

“A cheap sort of present!” thought Alice
“I’m glad they don’t give
birthday presents like that!” But she did not venture to say it out
loud
“Thinking again?” the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp
little chin
“I’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to
feel a little worried
Alice looked up, and there stood the
Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a
thunderstorm
“A fine day, your Majesty!” the Duchess began in a low, weak voice
Take your choice!”

The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment
Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, “Have
you seen the Mock Turtle yet?”

“No,” said Alice
“I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.”

“It’s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,” said the Queen
“I never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice
They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun
I must go back and see after some
executions I have ordered;” and she walked off, leaving Alice alone
with the Gryphon
The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till
she was out of sight: then it chuckled
“What fun!” said the Gryphon,
half to itself, half to Alice
“What _is_ the fun?” said Alice
“It’s all her fancy, that: they never
executes nobody, you know
Come on!”

So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes
full of tears, but said nothing
Alice thought to
herself, “I don’t see how he can _ever_ finish, if he doesn’t begin.”
But she waited patiently
“When we were little,” the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly,
though still sobbing a little now and then, “we went to school in the
sea
The master was an old Turtle—we used to call him Tortoise—”

“Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn’t one?” Alice asked
At last the
Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, “Drive on, old fellow
“You did,” said the Mock Turtle
“Hold your tongue!” added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again
“Yes,” said Alice, “we learned French and music.”

“And washing?” said the Mock Turtle
“Certainly not!” said Alice indignantly
then yours wasn’t a really good school,” said the Mock Turtle in a
tone of great relief
“I
only took the regular course.”

“What was that?” inquired Alice
“What is it?”

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise
Never heard of
uglifying!” it exclaimed
“Well, I can’t show it you myself,” the Mock Turtle said: “I’m too
stiff
And the Gryphon never learnt it.”

“Hadn’t time,” said the Gryphon: “I went to the Classics master,
though
“And how many hours a day did you do lessons?” said Alice, in a hurry
to change the subject
“Ten hours the first day,” said the Mock Turtle: “nine the next, and so
on.”

“What a curious plan!” exclaimed Alice
“Then the eleventh day must have been
a holiday?”

“Of course it was,” said the Mock Turtle
“And how did you manage on the twelfth?” Alice went on eagerly
“That’s enough about lessons,” the Gryphon interrupted in a very
decided tone: “tell her something about the games now.”




CHAPTER X
The Lobster Quadrille


The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across
his eyes
He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or
two sobs choked his voice
“Same as if he had a bone in his throat,”
said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him in
the back
“What sort of a dance is it?”

“Why,” said the Gryphon, “you first form into a line along the
sea-shore—”

“Two lines!” cried the Mock Turtle
“—you advance twice—”

“Each with a lobster as a partner!” cried the Gryphon
“Of course,” the Mock Turtle said: “advance twice, set to partners—”

“—change lobsters, and retire in same order,” continued the Gryphon
“Then, you know,” the Mock Turtle went on, “you throw the—”

“The lobsters!” shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air
“—as far out to sea as you can—”

“Swim after them!” screamed the Gryphon
“Turn a somersault in the sea!” cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly
about
“Change lobsters again!” yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice
“It must be a very pretty dance,” said Alice timidly
“Would you like to see a little of it?” said the Mock Turtle
“Come, let’s try the first figure!” said the Mock Turtle to the
Gryphon
“We can do without lobsters, you know
Which shall sing?”

“Oh, _you_ sing,” said the Gryphon
“There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on my tail
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance
They are waiting on the shingle—will you come and join the dance
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance
“What matters it how far we go?” his scaly friend replied
“There is another shore, you know, upon the other side
The further off from England the nearer is to France—
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance
“The reason is,” said the Gryphon, “that they _would_ go with the
lobsters to the dance
So they got their tails fast in their mouths
So they
couldn’t get them out again
That’s all.”

“Thank you,” said Alice, “it’s very interesting
I never knew so much
about a whiting before.”

“I can tell you more than that, if you like,” said the Gryphon
“Do you
know why it’s called a whiting?”

“I never thought about it,” said Alice
“Why?”

“_It does the boots and shoes_,” the Gryphon replied very solemnly
“Does the boots and shoes!” she repeated
in a wondering tone
“Why, what are _your_ shoes done with?” said the Gryphon
“I mean, what
makes them so shiny?”

Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her
answer
“They’re done with blacking, I believe.”

“Boots and shoes under the sea,” the Gryphon went on in a deep voice,
“are done with a whiting
Now you know.”

“And what are they made of?” Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity
“I mean what I say,” the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone
“It all came different!” the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully
“I
should like to hear her try and repeat something now
Tell her to
begin.” He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of
authority over Alice
“Stand up and repeat ‘’_Tis the voice of the sluggard_,’” said the
Gryphon
“I should like to have it explained,” said the Mock Turtle
“She can’t explain it,” said the Gryphon hastily
“Go on with the next
verse.”

“But about his toes?” the Mock Turtle persisted
It’s by far the
most confusing thing _I_ ever heard!”

“Yes, I think you’d better leave off,” said the Gryphon: and Alice was
only too glad to do so
“Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?” the Gryphon
went on
Who for such dainties would not stoop
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup
Soo—oop of the e—e—evening,
    Beautiful, beautiful Soup
Who cares for fish,
Game, or any other dish
Who would not give all else for two p
ennyworth only of beautiful Soup
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup
“Come on!” cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried
off, without waiting for the end of the song
However, “jury-men”
would have done just as well
The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates
“What are
they doing?” Alice whispered to the Gryphon
“A nice
muddle their slates’ll be in before the trial’s over!” thought Alice
One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked
This of course, Alice
could _not_ stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and
very soon found an opportunity of taking it away
“Herald, read the accusation!” said the King
“Not yet, not yet!” the Rabbit hastily interrupted
He came in with a teacup in one hand
and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other
“When did you begin?”

The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the
court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse
“Fourteenth of March, I _think_ it
was,” he said
“Fifteenth,” said the March Hare
“Sixteenth,” added the Dormouse
“Take off your hat,” the King said to the Hatter
“It isn’t mine,” said the Hatter
“_Stolen!_” the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made
a memorandum of the fact
“I keep them to sell,” the Hatter added as an explanation; “I’ve none
of my own
I’m a hatter.”

Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the Hatter,
who turned pale and fidgeted
“I wish you wouldn’t squeeze so,” said the Dormouse, who was sitting
next to her
“I can hardly breathe.”

“I can’t help it,” said Alice very meekly: “I’m growing.”

“You’ve no right to grow _here_,” said the Dormouse
“It _began_ with the tea,” the Hatter replied
“Of course twinkling begins with a T!” said the King sharply
“I deny it!” said the March Hare
“After that,” continued the Hatter, “I cut some more bread-and-butter—”

“But what did the Dormouse say?” one of the jury asked
“That I can’t remember,” said the Hatter
“I’m a poor man, your Majesty,” he began
“You’re a _very_ poor _speaker_,” said the King
Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by
the officers of the court
(As that is rather a hard word, I will just
explain to you how it was done
“I can’t go no lower,” said the Hatter: “I’m on the floor, as it is.”

“Then you may _sit_ down,” the King replied
Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed
“Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!” thought Alice
“Now we shall get
on better.”

“I’d rather finish my tea,” said the Hatter, with an anxious look at
the Queen, who was reading the list of singers
“You may go,” said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court,
without even waiting to put his shoes on
“Call the next witness!” said the King
The next witness was the Duchess’s cook
“Give your evidence,” said the King
“Treacle,” said a sleepy voice behind her
“Collar that Dormouse,” the Queen shrieked out
Turn that Dormouse out of court
“Never mind!” said the King, with an air of great relief
“Call the
next witness.” And he added in an undertone to the Queen, “Really, my
dear, _you_ must cross-examine the next witness
Imagine her
surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill
little voice, the name “Alice!”




CHAPTER XII
“What do you know about this business?” the King said to Alice
“Nothing _whatever?_” persisted the King
“That’s very important,” the King said, turning to the jury
_All persons more than a mile high to leave the court_.”

Everybody looked at Alice
“_I’m_ not a mile high,” said Alice
“Nearly two miles high,” added the Queen
“Then it ought to be Number One,” said Alice
The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily
“Consider your
verdict,” he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice
“That _proves_ his guilt,” said the Queen
“It proves nothing of the sort!” said Alice
“Why, you don’t even know
what they’re about!”

“Read them,” said the King
The White Rabbit put on his spectacles
“Where shall I begin, please
your Majesty?” he asked
